Thursday, March 1, 2012
English 12: Thursday, 1 March
Please copy a sentence or two from your descriptive paragraphs and post it/them as a comment. Don't forget to tell what it is about the sentence that you like or, what about it makes it an example of good writing. If you wish, you may post this one with or without your name.
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From deep inside, the dying soul let out a cry for help, but nothing could be heard; just the scream that showed in the eyes of a life that would soon be taken.
ReplyDeleteAll Cioffi was thinking about in that moment was the idea that he didn’t have to be in this situation, he could have been a surgeon or a doctor; like his parents wanted for him.
ReplyDeleteI like this sentence because it just goes to show that there is more in life for a person then just being a drunk on the streets. Your life is what you make it.
The blood from the donkey seeped into the cracks of the cobble stone bricks. I could hear the animal crying for help, The donkey’s cry pierced my ears, I watched as a drunk man collected the carcass.
ReplyDeleteSuddenly all was silent, as Linda emerged from the shadows. Her long hair was as black as a snake; her presence filled the air with astonishment.
ReplyDelete- I like these two sentences because it is a step-up from my previous writing. Before I couldn't even conjure up a simple sentence. Now I feel like my writing has improved, from this exercise.
The trees lining the edge of the field have an abnormal look to them; all leaning in one direction the entire way around looks as though the trees were grown in italics.
ReplyDeleteAdding to the first post, I like the sentence because I could actually visualize the donkey in that situation.
ReplyDeleteWalking through the dark musky hallway, I can smell the remnants of old boiled cabbage; it stunk up the whole building even my apartment.
ReplyDeletethis is the first sentence to my paragraph, i like it because it give you the sense of a dirty smelly apartment building.
Lello’s body lay on the ground still with blood running down his face from where the gun had entered his body. Ashes begin to fall from the open window covering Lello’s dead body, Sheilding him Aldo covers Lello’s body with a blanket near by.
ReplyDeleteI like these sentences because it creates good imagery.
Freshly pulled from the oven, the lamb shank smelled of fresh rosemary and sage with a hint of citrus; the light aroma filled the room. Paired with it was a risotto, rich with cheese and amazingly creamy.
ReplyDeleteI like this sentence because of the descriptive language. It was meant to pull at my sense of smell and I feel it did a pretty good job of getting my mouth to water. This sentence was a good piece of writing because of its ability to name and tell more then name and tell more again with a semicolon, plus it had the dependent clause in the beginning.
The rooms where as white as paper, The director more into the work then ever,
ReplyDeleteThe remaining's of the battle that the rain could not clean up, would be in the morning and forgotten in the next hour in the city of Naples because the next street has cleaning up to do to.
ReplyDeleteI like this sentence because it shows that even when harsh things happen you cant always care because there is a bigger picture happening and one battle, though sad, is just a little highlight of it.
The beautiful green grass swayed back and forth with mesmerizing elegance, in the gentle sweet smelling breeze that waved across the cow filled field.
ReplyDeleteI like this sentence because it contains green grass, cow filled fields and it smells sweet.
Gruesome carnage covers all but my innards.
I like this sentence because it gives you a sense of how much blood, guts, bits of flesh and brain and whatever other gruesome gore you can imagine is splattered all over.
The roses were in bloom, two nightingales soliloquized in the boskage, a cuckoo was just going out of tune among the lime trees.
ReplyDeleteThat'd be my favourite sentence, because it just gives you a clear description of the scene setting, and the mood that's about to be set.
At the front of the room there is a window that allows the sun to fall across the length of Julia and Winston's bodies and from below the faint singing of a woman doing laundry dances through the shutters.
ReplyDeleteThis caring and passionate scene is the opposite of the tone that comes from 1984. Inside of the place that Julia and Winston come to to get away from the outside sadistic world is the ultimate escape. Any other place in the story would be described as filthy and grey.
As the lovers carefully maneuvered through the trail, their impatient hands brushed each other’s, and their hips grazed the innumerable leaves of the hazel bushes.
ReplyDeleteThis sentence shows the eagerness of the couple to share their love and desire to rebel against the Party. It also appeals to the reader's sense of touch.
"The animal was being watched. Someone was waiting in the darkness.
ReplyDeleteIt sensed the eyes of starving people; their mouths salivated. The helpless being tried one more attempt to stand before its imminent death."
I feel this creates interest and shows fear from the donkey's perspective.